Do you ever wonder what God is doing? I do. I guess some would tell me that’s faithless. Stop blogging, you have no faith. Some would tell me faith is not wondering what God is doing and the inner wonderer needs to believe better. Stop blogging, you have too little faith. Is it that simple, believe and stop there? Are we freeing up full throttle faith to believe “in” God and not wonder “about” God? I believe freeing up full throttle faith means freeing up questions to God’s face. I believe wondering about God is as faithful as believing in God. Why? Because being in pursuit of God with questions means releasing a part self to go deeper. Because being in pursuit of God is being real with where we’re really at with Him. Feet of faith are crucial, but even the strongest person has asked the question, what is God doing and what is He thinking for answering the way He is. Doesn’t He get the gravity of my situation, my prayer, my need? Isn’t he tired of me having to put up with satan’s antics and isn’t He God of all stuff? Faith finding. Feet of faith are crucial, but not everyone has them without feet of feelings to go with them. Not everyone has them without a suitcase of unanswered prayers and hard times backing their angry or stubborn stance. Not everyone has them without doubting someone they can’t see. Whether you’re a faith giant or faith baby, or perhaps a faithless life “wondering” for the first time, it’s big to put yourself out there. And it’s big to decide where you’re at and what you think. We’re talking about God so the answer that comes to any stage can shape the future of that faith for a time. We’re also talking about satan living around here so it’s a vulnerable shoe-in for him if he thinks we’re out faith finding. He’s out faith flopping. Do you ever wonder what God is doing in your life? Do you ever wonder what He’s doing in your family and friend’s lives that you don’t get? You should wonder. Wonder to grow and find answers. Find out. Find out if you have “filler faith” in your life or faith on fire. Find out which one feels better to you. Faith is radical and you should find out. Tabling it doesn’t make the wonder go away. Tabling it doesn’t make the hard-times suitcase any lighter or the God-doubt lessoned. Tabling it doesn’t make God different, it only makes you deferred. Go faith finding dear reader. I am too. There’s no “one size fits all” way to go God-wondering and faith-finding. It’s your finding to do and your questions to ask God. Don’t compare yourself to the faith stage of other people. They’re as human as you inside and you aren’t them. One of the things I’ve found as I’ve met my inner wonder is that faith isn’t for the power of me, it’s for the empowerment of God in me. That relieved me. My power will never change in or out of faith, but God’s empower will in it. He’s the power source. If I’m having a weak day, His power continues strong and holds me. I believe when we seek the faith-giver with wonder and finding, we’re empowered to get God’s faith and it loosens our struggle to just “have ours on file” when we “need it on cue.” Can we wonder and do faith without ever a doubtful day? That would be a no and we need to release the expectation of that. Pain happens and hurts, answers become no’s, and situations become devastating and disastrous. I don’t have any more answers than you with that and I’m dismayed and confused too. All I can say is that in that doubtful day, I believe it’s not a “faithless” day we’re having, but rather a dependent day we’re needing. Lean in more to God, less to Satan, and feed your soul with a beckoning dependence instead of blame your soul for a tired faith. Free pressure to put faith on performance and free God to empower Himself in you when it’s dark. When you do that, tired faith becomes true faith and you free God to be God instead of bondage yourself in “stuck-prison.” Can we wonder and do faith with lots of mountain top days? That would be a yes and we need to find joy in the expectation of that. In those days, pain is relinquished, answers become God-style yes’s, and situations become promising. In those mountain days, I believe it’s not a strong faith of “I’m getting my way today” we’re enjoying, but rather a strong “I’m trusting God today” we’re surrendering in faith. Go God-wondering and faith-finding.
I’ve been going through some changes in my life and this morning I took faith-finding and God-wondering to my knees and asked God to be the pray-er. I asked that He take the reigns of “us” today. I’d like to blog with Him talking. Come inside my heart’s imagination as I write this morning. Come inside your own moment with God and freely wonder away. You’re welcome here. You’re questions are wanted here. You’re faith stage is accepted here. Find love.
“God, you got a lot of people wondering about this faith thing.”
“I’m so touched my child.”
“But we’re not touched God. We wonder what you’re doing.”
“Let’s talk. I’m in.”
“You’re not offended we’re wondering about you?”
“Satan is offended. I’m excited. I’m in.”
“You’re not disappointed we aren’t treating you as ‘God’ and not stopping at believing? You’re ok with God-wondering and faith-finding?”
“You are treating me as God. You’re taking your time to ask me who I am. You’re putting your faith to pursuit. As my kids would say in today’s world, that’s awesome!”
“Can you help us with “What are you doing God?’ And nice use of ‘awesome’ there God!”
“It would be my joy. I’m fulfilling my call in you my love.”
“What is your call of me? Can you do that and prevent pain for me at the same time?”
“My call of you is to love. It is not my prevention of pain that will comfort you, it’s my working in your pain that will comfort you.”
“But that’s one of the inner-wonders I have about you. Why does there have to be pain in my path instead of just faith in my life? It feels like I would have easier faith in YOU if you didn’t let me or my loved ones get in pain. It’s hard to do you and pain together, and when you’re God I have to figure that combo out.”
“I am so moved. I want you to know me and I love your pursuit of me. I like this inner-wonderer inside you. Keep it up! Honey, this is something a lot of people struggle with. You’d be surprised even the “big guns” of faith struggle with this. The first time babies of faith, the long time pillars of faith, and the complacent faith-fillers are asking this. I’ve even had “window-shoppers” of faith ask this. It’s the faith on fire thing we’re trying to get to and that’s hard for everybody! Faith isn’t “easy” and I understand the struggle you’re describing. The pain in life comes from satan, not me. Could I prevent pain? I can’t prevent people making choices to hurt other people. I can’t prevent satan from being satan and hurting the world right now. I feel the pain with you. My love didn’t make it this way and I’m so sorry my dream of painless for you is yet to come. The big key is it will come and until it does I’m right here in the midst of it with you using it to show you my grace and push you to strength. I am God before, during, and after ALL things for you and I will move with the power of thunder to take care of you within it and I will move with the speed of fierce to come get you and replace pain with all eternity. Satan will be done whether he’s done or not because I’m coming and he’s leaving.”
“God-wondering question? Who are you and are you real?”
“I’m the God of all life and land and I’m very real honey. I’m also very yours. I made you and your family and the sun you live under. I’m enormous power and grace, both in equal measures. Nobody else with that combo! I’m the winner of the sin force and I’m the conqueror of the pain life. I’m the deliverer of your eternity and I’m the redeemer of your problems. I’m the star maker and the sand writer and I’ve splayed my spirit out across the land for you to have until I come. I’m a God with a hug for you and I’m a God with an arm for your suitcase of burdens. I’m not a “filler-God,” nor a “window-shopping” Shepherd for my lambs. I’m in love with you and my blue sky for you. I’m understanding and forgiving of whatever you bring me because you’re mine. My compassion just overflows daily for your life, everywhere overflowing. I’m a big big God, but not in a big unavailable scary God way. I’m the Savior of the world. I’m your biggest fan and most loyal friend and I care about your day. I’m a big deal my love. Pretty cool huh?”
“Very.”
“Sweetheart, remember this. You can’t wonder too much about me. I see your God-wonder and faith-finding as our friendship and your interest in me. I desire and died for you. Open your heart so I can put faith in it. Open your heart so I can put grace in it. Open your heart so I can empower me in it. You’re not a window-shopper of your life. You’re a warrior of your life. Go worthy finding within ME and you’ll find it teeming with strength. I love you. You’re a big deal. Pretty cool huh?”
“I’ve never been a big deal.”
“You’re my big deal, love. So, my turn for a you-wondering question. Who are you?”
“Yours.”
“Awesome!”
“I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.” Revelation 22:13
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13
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